Surgical Consult Kicks Off Marathon

(On Fridays, I am re-posting some of the key entries from our journey with breast cancer.  I am editing them a bit to make them leaner, but am not adding anything unless I mark it as an editor's comment.)

Surgical Consult

17 June 09

Bryan and I went to my consult today. Our biggest prayer was that we'd either have an extreme peace with the Army surgeon, or that serious red flags would go up such that we'd seek medicine out in town with civilians.

By way of bias, we were already gunning to get out into town. But it turns out that Dr. Mayfield is awesome. We love him already! Our concerns were all laid to rest and we're completely confident in entrusting my care to him. Praise God. Truly. He has made the path ahead of us very clear and we're both glad to have no ambiguity about it.

There is only one course to pursue and though it looks rough, at least it is plainly evident. Mine is a common kind of cancer, the sort that grows in the ducts.

 

The tumor is a whopping 8 cm big. 8 centimeters. That's pretty freaking huge, and Mayfield guesses that it has been growing for several years now.

 

And it's aggressive, too, as it is already pushing into my muscle. It's rare to find this kind of cancer in someone 34 years old--I'm in an elite 0.5%. So how about that.

Surgery is scheduled for next Friday, the 26th. It will be a radical mastectomy, which means he'll carve into my muscle as well.

 

On the one hand, it's a bummer to lose a breast. On the other hand, I really see today how life threatening this cancer is. As Mayfield said--with tears in his eyes, which I thought was great--I really only have one shot at getting this right.

 

So there's no holding back. There is a lot of grief in this. But there's no point in being in a coffin with 2 breasts. That are getting a little saggy anyway. And frankly, once I'm re-constructed, I'll be even more smoking hot than I am now.

Before the surgery, I'll undergo some sort of glucose imaging procedure where they'll determine if the cancer has spread into any other organs. They are nearly certain it's in the lymph nodes of the right armpit. The left lymph nodes and the left breast, at this point using the MRI, look clean. So all the right lymph nodes will come out during surgery as well.

 

Before the operation, I'll also see an oncologist and radiation guy to consult with them. Then they'll confer with the surgeon and tell him if and where to place the valves that they'll use to shoot the chemicals through.

 

Mayfield is 95% certain that both therapy doctors will recommend giving me everything in their armory. Because I'm young and healthy, I'll be able to tolerate anything. And so they'll want to hit me with "The steak, the potato, the green bean, and then the tray itself." Because, again, my first shot is my best shot. As unpleasant as this sounds, I'd rather they be aggressive than having them tenderfoot around, hoping for the best.

Again, I cannot tell you how pleased we are with this guy. It really feels like God hand-picked him for us.

 

We also happened to discover that he is a Christian who first submitted to the Lord in 2006, and that he had prayed before our appointment. . .   Needless to say, it'd be hard to imagine a better match for ourselves.

 

***

 

Marathon

21 June 09

As we've prayed about this whole cancer thing, what we've been hearing back from God is that we are heading down a long road that will end well. God has told us several times: "This is a marathon, not a sprint."

Go back 5 years to our time in Korea. The movie theater there showed movies for free, so we went all the time. They always showed the same refreshment movie where candy wrappers balled themselves up and jumped into the trash can and tubs of popcorn gathered into a kickline.

 

The music to this movie was so wonderful! It was fast and catchy and I'd always kind of dance in my seat and tell Bryan how badly I wanted a copy of this song. This was music that could get me out of bed in the morning!

But there are no credits for that kind of thing. I had nothing to go on. No artist. No title. Nothin'! I left Korea and said goodbye to that refreshment music.

Fast forward to this past weekend. We had promised Josh that we'd take him to the "North Pole" (a kiddie-ride amusement park nestled into the mountains) for his 3rd birthday. Figuring that I might not be feeling to well come late July, we went last Sunday. Had a great time. Perfect weather. Not crowded. So much fun. We took a break to watch the magic show and the magician took the stage and began performing to. . . that refreshment song!!!!!! I couldn't believe it! Bryan! That's the song!

After the show, I approached the magician and said, "Great show, great show--now what was that one song called?"

"Oh, this one?" he asked, and re-played a snippet of it. "This is called 'Marathon.'"


Well. How about that.

People, what can I say? If Jesus Christ did not resurrect from the dead, if He stayed dead as all other people do, then I am imagining things. I'm imagining God's peace. I'm fabricating this joy. And the 15 years since I chose to believe that Jesus Christ is the resurrected Savior have not been full of God's Hand working in my life. They've been full of coincidence and wishful thinking.

But if He did resurrect from the dead, then I am right to put my hope and trust in Him, and the belief that He is mighty to save.

I am thankful that this tough road before me comes only after I spent 5 years working for a New Testament historian specializing in debates with atheists and Muslims. In those 5 years, I came across every objection to God, to Jesus, to the Bible. And I've seen each objection fail.

 

(I could even make a bar game out of it: If you can come up with an objection I've never heard of, I'll buy you a drink. And if I can't come up with a good and reasonable answer to it, I'll start drinking with you.) I can gladly say that my faith is strengthened by experience and rational inquiry.

So if you're reading this and thinking that you are glad that I'm walking in peace even though it's from some sort of placebo effect, please consider beginning or resuming or re-visiting your own inquiry.

 

And I'm not asking you to do it because I've got cancer and can therefore ask anything of anybody. I'm asking because you are all going to die at some point. And if now isn't an OK time to bring up that fact and sincerely share my deep hope that all will know the riches of Christ along with me, then there will never be an OK time.